Half Life: Card Game Consequences
by StupidSequel
Summary: The Combine have invaded Earth and after a friendship speech fails, Yami challenges them to a duel.


**Half Life: Card Game Consequences**

A Yu-Gi-Oh!/Half Life crossover

"The Seven Hour War is over. You lost! 1984 is upon you!" Breen yelled over the Breencasts.

"Dang. And I just won the Battle City Tournament." Yugi lamented. There were intimidating looking cops wearing white masks all over the streets. Yugi and his friends were being herded into a cheap, sketchy looking apartment in City 17.

"This is your new home," The Combine officer said in his computer sounding grumbling voice.

"Is there WiFi?"

"Yes, but the internet is so heavily censored it makes China's internet seem like totally free open internet."

"Is there a pool?"

"LOOK OUT THE FRIGGIN WINDOW! But yes, there is a pool but it's full of molasses instead of water. NO MORE QUESTIONS! If Breen catches any political dissidents, we shall point our fingers at them and shoot dark energy pellets out of our fingers and send their minds to the Shadow Realm. Like this." The Combine soldier grabbed Noah by the scruff of his neck, pointed at his forehead, and shot nearly point blank. Noah fell down in an unconscious heap.

"And Bob's your uncle." The Combine said.

"Serves him right for forcing us into a useless filler arc." Joey said in a slight rant.

"Yeah!" Yugi agreed.

A guy wearing hipster glasses and an orange suit bearing the Lambda logo on it ran by and shot a dark energy pellet out of his finger at the Combine cop who introduced the card game clique to their new place. He then ran down the stairs and shot more dark energy pellets out of his fingers at more Combines.

"Was that Anticitizen One? I think it was. AFTER HIM!" The Combine cop pelted downward and thru the streets. Yugi exchanged confused glances with everyone else. A flying camera took their pictures in a blinding light. The man with the hipster glasses came back and shot a dark energy pellet at it. The camera popped like a balloon.

"Is this guy our guardian angel or something?" Tea mused. Just then the guy with the hipster glasses was escorted by a gang of 7 Combines off the premises.

"You clique make me sick, being all positive and all that shit! You're in trouble!" They shot dark energy pellets out of their fingers. The Yu-Gi-Oh clique ran away as fast as they could, dark energy pellets grazing their ears. Tea turned around and faced the Combines.

"STOP IT!" Tea shouted at the top of her sexy lungs. "That is not the way to make friends. Shooting dark energy pellets to send one's mind to the Shadow Realm is not a good way to show friendship. Instill trust and kindness, not terror!" No effect. The Combines continued chasing them.

"Over here," Barney whispered. "I found a secret tunnel that will take you thru Ravenholm."

"Thanks for the offer but I am thru running. Time to fight," Yugi said. "I am not in very good physical shape, and running 50 yards gives me motion sickness. Yugi, MAXIMIZE!" Yugi's skin opened up into panels and parts of him rotated like a Rubik's cube until he turned fully into Yami. The whole process took about a second and there were mechanical sounds. He put on his Duel Disc.

"If I win, you Combine soldiers have to leave Earth."

"Agreed," the Combine soldier affirmed. "But if I win, we get to enslave humanity as well as send you to the Shadow Realm, Anticitizen Two!" Yami narrowed his eyes and put up his middle finger.

"Fine. LET'S DUEL!"

A few minutes later...

"I have Graham's Number life points left, all my monsters have infinity attack points, and I have 5 face-down cards on the field, while you only have one life point left, no monsters on the field, no cards in your hand, and only one card left in your entire deck. Oh, however will you turn this around, Anticitizen Two?" The Combine taunted.

"Don't you give in, Yoog! You can still win this!" Joey cheered.

"They're right. I didn't quit that one time when I dueled my possessed friend so that the anchor wouldn't pull us into the Shadow Realm fluid, and I sure won't back down now. Not when the fate of the universe is at stake." Yami thought to himself. He closed his eyes and prayed. "Dear Children's Card Game, please let this next card be one that will make the Combine's victory less imminent." Yami drew his card. It was the Seal of Orichalcos. "How the Shadow Realm did this get in my deck?" Yami gasped while soiling his pants. "Oh well. If I win, I get the Combine's soul."

"Yami, I swear to Children's Card Game if you use that card and lose again, I will go into space and hurl the Millennium Puzzle into the sun, even tho that means I'll never be able to win a duel ever again and be without someone to do all my thinking for me.!"

"How do you plan to do that if you've lost your soul?" Yami asked.

"I'm not saving your ass again, nigga! It's YOUR soul who will be gone!" Yami gulped at Yugi's threat, and his blood pressure rose so high if he got a cut the force from the spraying blood could smother a forest fire.

"Okay, but some risks should be worth taking. For Children's Card Game sake, the Combine want to destroy Children's Card Game's creation." Yami put his card on the field.

"I activate The Seal of Orichalcos." The field became surrounded by the Satanic seal. "Your soul will be long gone WHEN I win." Yami bragged.

"Fak u," the Combine spat. The Combine soldier drew a card. "It ain't over until the fat lady sings! Morbidly Obese Soprano, wipe out his single life point."

"Oh, I just remembered," Yami said cleverly. "The trap card I played two turns ago has another effect. In addition to blocking your attack, f I play the Seal of Orichalcos two turns after I played that one trap card and I happen to play the Orichalcos card while having only one lifepoint left and my opponent has his field full of monsters with infinity attack points and my opponent with Graham's Number life points left, I can search my entire card repertoire for the YOLO Swag Ninja. And the good part is, it doesn't even have to be in my deck." Yami didn't have that card anywhere in his deck, so...

Yami got out his DumbPhone and called grampa. "Hello. I'm in a duel and I used a trapcard that allows (insert what I just said before). Can you give me the YOLO Swag Ninja card? You can? Okay."

"Hey, you can't do that. THAT'S CHEATING!" The Combine scolded.

"Trust me," Yami tried to assure.

Six hours later, grampa arrived with the card and gave it to Yami.

"I play the YOLO Swag Ninja. This monster has infinity to the infinitieth power attack and defense points, so it can win this duel with ease!"

"Hold up," the Combine said. "How do I know you're not pulling random shit out of your ass and making it up as you go?" Yami searched his graveyard pile for the aforementioned trap card and showed the text to the Combine.

"If the player doesn't have this card in his or her deck, then he or she is allowed to order it or have someone from a third party source hand him or her the card. It all checks out. Damn, I'm screwed."

"It's all over!" Yami said as the attack finished the duel. As evil as the Combine was, they were able to keep their word when it involved a Children's Card Game. So they all fled Earth like they agreed to do.


End file.
